Survivor's Guilt

my first favorite color was red; i wanted to be an astronaut

the apple didn't fall far from the tree
a forbidden fruit
i ate what was left

one summer afternoon
a double popsicle broken not quite in two
cherry flavored

heraldic achievement of existence
unique to the armiger, a coat of arms
we didn't even have arms

could i have even pulled you off that cliff?

could i have ever held you close?

my first favorite color was red; i wanted to be an astronaut

it's time for lift-off,
i would have said

i place a flagpole between the earth-rock
waving a missing person's poster of something abstract
the picture all in one hue

was there not enough space for me and you?

my first favorite color was red; i wanted to be an astronaut

lucky little ladybug
a tragedian's play
the curtains fall early; there was a no-show

amidst bath bombs
submerged in glossy lukewarm red and glitter
contemplating embryo embargo;

contemplating the possibility
that someone could've helped me through this

the projection of a matador
i am seeing red

and i wonder how it all would go if you were here instead.